Have you been hurt or betrayed so deeply that you feel it’s really impossible for you to forgive that person?? You feel the resentment or vengeance toward that offender who has harmed you physically or emotionally.
Harbouring this spirit of negativity, is it going to change the situation or give any benefits to you?? Think about it for a moment?? When you drink toxic drink, who will die? You or the offender??
In fact, unforgiveness is harming you and not the offender. It wears down your body system immunity and makes you look aged and robs you of all the joy in life. Chronic resentment, pain and fear put you into a fight or flight mode, resulting in physiological turmoils in heart rate & blood pressure too. It increases the risk of depression and non-communicable disease (NCD) like most heart diseases, diabetes, cancer, strokes, Parkinson’s disease, autoimmune diseases & etc. Do you deserve all these, when you are the one being hurt or betrayed?? It’s unfair right??
However, you have the power to decide if you allow such situation to arise. You have the almighty influence on avoiding any of these harms to fall on you! Only you, and not others can help you get out of this negative situation. Work on yourself to make a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of anger or vengeance toward the offender(s), irrespective of whether they deserve your forgiveness.
I know it’s easier said than done, especially when the offender was too abusive or expressed no remorse for what had been done to you. When you're feeling disappointed, angry or betrayed, the idea of forgiving the offender can feel like giving in to that person & allowing the offender to 'get away with it' too easily. We, in our human nature, will always feel this way.
However, it’s only for your own good and benefits of joy and health, when you let go of the negative emotions. When you forgive, it does not mean you have to forget or condone or excuse the behaviour. Forgiveness is to free up your power and learn a lesson, and don’t let yourself be close enough to the offender to allow their behavior to destroy your life again. Forgiveness is not something you do for other people , you do it for yourself to get well and MOVE ON and, forgiveness opens up a pathway to peace and joy.
HOW TO FORGIVE??
You can only forgive when you are willing to. It is an intentional and voluntary process to let go of resentment and vengeance toward the offender. You need to fully identify, feel, express and release your anger, fear and pain – these emotional bondages that consume your minds with memories of offenses, distort your emotions with resentment, fear and vengeance and fill your hearts with trouble and confusion. LET THEM GO and start living afresh again!
Have a Change of your MIND:
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